The Power of Resilience in Business and Life: What it really takes

“You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.” - Bob Marley

We’ve all had those moments that knock us sideways. A setback at work, a personal blow, a curveball you never saw coming.

But here’s the question I want to explore today:

What does resilience really mean - and how do you build it when life feels like it’s falling apart?

Resilience isn’t about pretending everything’s fine. It’s about continuing to show up even when things get tough, it's about finding what little strength you have to keep going in spite of what you may be facing.

My Story: What Does Resilience Look Like in Real Life?

For those who don’t know me, I’m Kirsty. I spent 20 years in the corporate world, 10 of those in HR management - the go-to problem solver. But when my own life fell apart, I realised no one ever taught me how to cope.

After having my son Alfie, I had one of those “enough is enough” moments. I decided to leave my job and build a business helping women like me - women who feel stuck, undervalued or just had a realisation that there has to be more to life - to rebuild their confidence and take control again.

But just as things started to move forward, my husband Anth was diagnosed with bladder cancer. It felt like our world stopped.

Hospitals, surgeries, endless waiting rooms and yet, in that chaos, I found out what resilience really is. It wasn’t about pushing through with a smile. It was about getting up each day, doing what needed to be done, and choosing to move forward - even when I didn’t have all the answers. Or quite frankly couldn’t be arsed and wanted to give up.

Lesson 1: Why Is Resilience So Messy (and Why That’s Okay)?

Forget the tidy Instagram version of resilience, the “I failed but now I’m thriving” story. Real resilience is ugly-crying in your car, dragging yourself out of bed, and muttering “let’s just get through today.”

What you  don’t see in those ‘success’ posts are all of the small steps that got people there. 

When Anth was recovering from surgery, nothing felt in control. But the humour in those ridiculous hospital moments (like the 90-year-old next to him telling me to lay off the chocolate because “a moment on the lips is a lifetime on the hips”) gave us something to laugh about.

That’s the thing about resilience, it’s not perfection. It’s surviving the mess and finding slivers of light in between.

Lesson 2: How Can You Reframe Struggles When Everything Feels Hard?

Reframing is the skill that changed everything for me. When I went back to work after maternity leave, I was frustrated and angry and I had every right to be. But eventually, I asked myself: How can I use this as fuel?

That frustration became the fire behind Expansions Coaching, the business I now run. And when Anth was ill, reframing helped again. We couldn’t change what was happening, but we could control how we faced it. We kept laughing, kept planning, kept looking forward. We ensured that we could look back over this time with fond memories as a family, not just the tough days. 

Reframing doesn’t mean ignoring the pain. It means asking,

“What can I learn from this?” or “How will this help me later?”

When I look back on that year now, yes, it was hard but it was also the year I stood up for myself, started a business, built memories as a family, and watched Anth beat cancer. That’s resilience in action.

Lesson 3: Why Isn’t Resilience a Solo Mission?

I used to believe being resilient meant being independent - strong, capable, holding it all together, ultimately being a martyr.

Spoiler: it doesn’t.

Trying to be a one-woman superhero is exhausting (though I do wear the cape well).

When things got tough, we found support from friends, family, and Maggie’s charity - who were an absolute lifeline. Sometimes resilience is just having someone make you a cup of tea and say, “You’re doing amazing.” 

And honestly, I’ve found that same sense of community through my coaching business. Messages of support from people I’d never met in real life reminded me, we’re never really alone, unless we choose to be.

How Can You Build Your Own Resilience?

Take a minute and think back to a time when you faced a challenge - a job loss, a setback, a health scare. Ask yourself:

• How did I get through it?

• Who helped me along the way?

• What did I learn about myself?

  
  

That reflection is resilience training. Every challenge you’ve faced has built a muscle, you just might not have realised it yet.

So, What’s the Real Secret to Resilience?

It’s not about having all the answers. It’s about showing up, even when you don’t know what the next step looks like. It’s about finding the humour, the lesson, and the progress hidden inside the chaos.

Resilience isn’t a trait you’re born with - it’s something you build, one step at a time.

 And trust me - you’re stronger than you think.

Want Support Building Your Resilience?

If this story hit home, and you’re ready to stop just “getting through” and start moving forward, that’s where coaching comes in.

At Expansions Coaching, I help ambitious women get unstuck - through practical mindset tools, accountability, and honest conversations that get results.

Explore ways to work with me, or book a free discovery call to see how we can build your resilience together.